Every now and then, when I least expect it, my heart starts to flutter and my cheeks start to warm up whenever I see him.
Be it through picture on his social medias or even when we randomly see each other in foreign countries, makes my heart skip a beat.
I took a flight to Switzerland today because the weather was nice and because for some reason I really needed the fresh air that country provides. To my surprise I hear whispers between girls saying how hot was that guy in a track suit. He was so tall and had such a model physique but his eyes were what caught everyone’s attention.
To me, of course, it didn’t matter. My heart was already sealed to you, however I couldn’t help but look where everyone was pointing and that’s where my heart stopped. It was you. The fact that we were less then 20 meters apart from each other made my weak heart start galloping and my eardrums beating; making me absolutely deaf from hearing the outside world.
Blurry. Everything was blurry, except for your figure that stood proud while drinking your morning coffee. My hands started shaking and I already knew that I had become pale like a ghost. But you were irresistible.
I wonder if you had noticed as I took quick glimpses to where you were standing but you were too busy discussing your matters with one of your managers. To say that I was exhilarating from having you so near me, made me warm. I have been having feelings like never before. It was then, when I knew that no matter what happens, no matter how many lives pass by; I will always love you.
I ordered my coffee too and sat down in a corner where I could see you but you couldn’t. I don’t know why, but I was really hoping that you would catch me, but that was impossible. You don’t even know who I am, let alone have you stare at my awkward figure.
There you were, chatting with the ones around you. And I couldn’t help but admire the movement that your mouth made as you spoke. I got lost and it was your fault. But…
There will always be a but. A gorgeous lady walked right besides me and sat near you, casually touching your shoulder affectionally. And I didn’t know why, but that mere gesture made me spill my coffee on the table.
Why did you let her touch you so intimately?
Tears started to spill from my eyes, wondering how many ladies act like that? Probably a lot and everywhere you go. Sure such a handsome guy like you must attract awfully many of beautiful ladies. But why can’t my heart accept that? Why am I still so hung up on you that it doesn’t let me move on with my life?
I apologised to the waiter for messing it up and made my way towards the exit. My heart started beating erratically as I passed by you and your group of friends. My cheeks turned red and my hands were shaking.
That is all I was asking for. A chance for you to notice me. But for the last time I inhaled that scent of yours I already knew that this was the last time I would run up to you like that. Only God knows how much it ached, how many tears I spilled for you, how many nights I would clutch my skin praying to Him for a miracle. But it was all in vain.
You will never know me and I am wasting my life like this.
With the last glimpse towards you I opened the door and closed it for good.
I am doing better now. I have a wonderful job.
After closing all the possible medias that spoke about you, I redirected my entire energy into doing better. So it happened. I became really good at what I love and finally was promoted in London. My dream job.
It didn’t last long though.
After three months of working there, I was told that I had to take care of a new client’s investment. That is my job after all.
So would you guess who was this client? No other but You. You, the one I had been dreaming since a teenager, was sitting in front of me, waiting for a consultation.
I tried to act as much as a professional would act but could I really do that?
I messed up my first sentence, that was Hello and welcome to X consultant group.
You laughed and that made my heart swell. Even though you were laughing at my mistake.
“Do I know you? You look familiar.” I had the chance to listen to your voice for the first time. You were so adorable and all the pent up love I had for you drowned me once again.
“N-no I don’t think so.” I replied as I hid my face from utter embarrassment.
“Nuh-uh, aren’t you that girl who spilled that coffee in Switzerland. I never forgot your curls and shy smile. You haven’t changed a bit.”
I stopped functioning and stared at him the whole time.